I WENT FROM SUICIDAL TO GRATEFUL & BUSINESS ISN’T ONE OF MY MAIN 2020 GOALS

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It’s New Year’s Day and as tradition would suggest, people from all over the U.K. pool together on Facebook to share the classic ‘new year new me’ posts.

This is going to be one of them, in an untraditional, disruptive format.

So if any of my family are on here (which I know you are), close your ears! ? 

Now I’m not gonna bore you with all my goals for 2020 (I probably have too many).

But…

I am going to share with you something that has taken me a great deal of time to understand and accept. 

I WAS THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IN MY LIFE.

For those of you who know me in Birmingham, you know me for the events I ran alongside: Sam, Liam & Freddie.

And with that came some incredible experiences I’ll never forget.

People I’ll never forget. (probably forgot your names because of all the drink ?)

And achievements that will never die. 

But with it also came possibly the lowest I’ve ever felt in my life.

Hospital trips.

Blackout anger (sorry Chris).

Hurting people who truly care about me (sorry Mum & Dad + Family).

And this didn’t happen because I wasn’t having fun. 

I probably had the most fun a man in his 20s could ever have.

Free drugs & drink.

Lots of girls.

Respect from people.

And…

A feeling of belonging to a part of something bigger than anything I’ve experienced in life. (maybe that was the drugs!)

What it made me realise is:

I did all of these things because I thought I was a victim

I had a mentality whereby everything that happened to me, happened to me because ‘life was terrible’ and ‘nothing would ever come good for me’. 

But one day something changed.

I looked at myself in the mirror (on acid) and I said, staring into pupils as big as dish plates:

“If I am willing to get this fucked up, I am willing to do the work it takes to go back”

Anyway… 

How does this link with what I’m trying to say?

I’ve done a lot for a 22 year old (thanks Ad & Mac for making me realise this):

I’ve run successful events while being a drug addict.

Become an incredible marketer alongside feeling like life wasn’t worth living, to the point I made a plan to kill myself. 

And a whole load of other shit. 

My point is (and I truly believe it):

YOU ARE SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE AND YOUR ACTIONS DETERMINE HOW IT ENDS

Whether it’s choosing to get fucked up every weekend.

Stay in a toxic relationship.

Hang around with the wrong crowd.

YOU have the power to change all of those.

And when you realise that you harness the power to re train your mind, you change forever.

You become happier and more energetic.

Your work life, social life and mental health start to thrive.

You become you, but a superhero version of yourself.

Without feeling truly happy and able in life, you limit what you can achieve.

Although your aspirations might still be high, you won’t achieve them unless you sort yourself out first.

I have never been happier in life (although I’m not a 10/10 yet Tony Vee & Nicki Vee).

And it was all because I was willing to experience the pain it takes to change.

I’ve never been more ready to achieve my goals than right now.

That’s because I changed my attitude and mind.

And…

If you’re reading this and can resonate with what I’ve said.

YOU CAN CHANGE TOO.

All it takes is a change in environment (thank you Nick James for providing that change).

Whatever your 2020 goals are, remember that your mental health and happiness is far more important than anything.

Anyway thank you for reading.

I hope you could take something from my story.

And please, if you need help… get it.

Whether that be in the form of a friend, family member or the great services provided by charities such as, Mind or Samaritans.

I hope you all have a wondrous New Year.

Harry x 

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